Wednesday, September 15, 2010
random thoughts
I don't like being flaky. I am not a flaky person but right now I am. I am in between two types of people, the ones who say they are going to do things but then end up not doing them for one reason or another and the ones who get by doing the least amount possible. I am not either of these types normally but right now I am and it is making me mad. I feel like right now I am not living up to what I should be in any area of my life. It makes me mad at myself and at the same time makes me feel bad about myself. And any one can say, oh well, your pregnant Halley so it's okay. but no it's not. I feel like I need to clean out the un-important things in my life, but they are all important. I always feel behind. I really need to learn to use those around me, my husband, and others, let them help me/ ask for their help. I also need to use my time wisely. I guess I will work on that.
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Halley, no on who is basically a responsible person LIKES being a flake... but those times happen for all of us.
ReplyDeleteYes, the larger your family grows, the more you need to learn to delegate, to look at ways to make things more efficient. Think "out of the box" to use an overworn phrase...
And know that even though you don't feel it is ok, it happens to us all.
a disclaimer.. dont be anoyed at me for my comment, i mean well!
ReplyDeleteHalley i LOVE YOU!! and everyone has times in their life ( or at least i do) where i drop the balls im juggling and it takes a minute to get back in the grove. I have had years in my life where i felt like i was just surviving every day and not every getting ahead or anything done that i wanted to or needed to. ( if i look back these times correspond with the births of my second, third, and fourth kids) so what im saying is that big changes are hard! and it takes time to adjust to new things and pregnancy hormones are a real thing not just a cliche! Plus you have a really full plate with two kids, a baby on the way, primary president, your own totally awesome biz, and all the things involved with keeping a household running! You are amazing! I guess i just dont want you to be too hard on yourself... and remember that everyone is flaky sometimes. :)
I agree with Camilla, you're totally awesome and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. At the same time, remember that sometimes you need to evaluate, not necessarily harshly, where you spend your time, or how you spend it. I have found I've had to rearrange how I spend my entire days. My friends are practically breaking down my door, wondering if I'm okay because I'm not calling to chat or wondering how they're doing, or asking them over to play. I think you pinched it, right there at the end of your rant, "I guess I'll work on that." I have felt unlike myself for awhile. I'm doing okay and nothing is "wrong" but I have had to rework how I operate in order to survive the incorporation of this new little one into my life and work around the other issues occupying my time and energy. But you'll get it. And you won't be a flake forever - mostly because you've identified it, you won't be prego forever, and you're going to "work on it." Chin up hon - you'll make it!
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