I am almost there!

okay well actually I have a ways to go, but I feel like I am almost there because I have made a lot of progress and come along way. Where, you ask? Well I will tell you, almost back to where I was before I had Anthony. Having him really threw me a curve ball, not for the reasons I expected, which would be why I said curve ball. You see I had heard of people talk about postpartum depression but I never experienced any thing remotely close. Don't get me wrong right after I had my other kids things were crazy, my life was turned upside down, I ran on very little, very interrupted sleep, but I didn't FEEL different. This time , with Anthony, about 6 to 8 weeks after he was born I began to feel different, easily irritated, angry a lot, extremely sad. But the thing is they weren't my feelings, I mean I was feeling them but even in the moment, in the middle of the feeling I could easily think to my self why I am feeling this? I didn't want to feel it, I didn't have something that caused it, the feeling would just come and just as easily go. It really bothered me, to the point where I was close to talking to a doc about it, but I didn't, mostly because it wasn't soo bad I wanted to kill myself or anyone else, it wasn't bad enough that I thought I needed meds and I was sure my body good fix it on it's own with time, but I also didn't talk to a doc because it is hard to say..... "I have postpartum depression." Why am I telling you all this, well, I am not sure but I think it is so you can understand how awesome I feel when I say I am almost there, back to me :-) (I need to keep a journal because this would be a good thing to write in it.)

Any way if any of you are still reading the sucky feelings lasted for shorter and shorter periods and the good feelings in between got longer and longer. I think I am now there, feeling wise, and all that is left is to pick my life back up and put it back the way I want it. It has been about three months of these sucky feelings and right before that two months of okay feeling wise but having a new baby, so you can imagine what I my life might look like after being ignored for that long. I have some work to do but am able to look back I what I just went through and appreciate it. I definitely learned from it, and am happy to be on the other side.

Heard this fable.....

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one woun...ded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

What do you think?

organization is the key to life.....

Okay, I have realized organization is the key, isn't that how the saying goes, organization is the key to life? Well I think it is right , or at least the key to a less stressful life. But here is the kicker it is hard to be organized/ get organized, it is work. But here is my thinking, usually with parenting a little kid the harder thing to do is the better/ easier thing to do in the long run right? I.E - making the child clean up after themselves, when they are little it seems easier to just pick up their jacket and shoes, or the few toys they left on the floor, but then you are teaching them it is okay, so later on down the road you made it harder for your self. Well I think it is the same with being organized in life. It may seem like more work now, or harder to do, but by doing it you can make your life easier and less stressful down the road. So that is what I am working on now. What do you all do to try and stay organized?

It's the little things that count........

So today I went to the bathroom in piece by myself and stayed there a few minutes extra, it was a good day! I decided not to let all the other stupid little things that happened ruin my day. (Easy you say, they were not few in number) My oven broke so I called a guy to come fix it..... long story short I paid $60 for him to tell me it wold cost me about the same to fix it as it would to get a new one, all of that only two days After Pres. Day, a big appliance sale day........ I packed up Elena and Anthony a drove to my mother in laws house to get some stuff, I got home to realize I missed one thing I really needed, so turned right back around and packed up the kids again and went again. Then I went to a place, Christopher got off work early to meet me there to get some passes we bought, I had checked before on the website says they are open until 7 today, get there at 6:30 and they are closed, we all went our for that. Also paid my house payment late, but I thought I got it in the grace period, nope get a call today that I have a late fee. Any way point is there is good in all these things..... I wont list them all but like the oven..... I have the money to pay for it so.... I should be happy for that. After we went all the way to the closed place I switched Christopher cars he took the kids home and I ran a few kid-less errands. Anyway, what I am saying, or trying to, is these two things:
One: I can complain about the bad or I can be grateful for the good. and
Two: Worse things have happened, to me and others, so in the big scheme of things does it really matter?

Don't have a title.....

So here is something I have been thinking about. Do you extend a courtesy to someone who doesn't do the same to you? Hard to explain but lets say someone is a crappy gift giver, I like giving gifts that have meaning or are actually something I think the person wants to receive, but if someone alsways just gives me whatever, or something that doesn't require any thought, like money, which isn't bad, do I still go through a lot of trouble to get them an awesome gift? Not sure if that is what I am trying to say. But in general do you do things for other people who don't do them for you?

25 years old.....

So I turned 25!...... well felt just like turning 24 or any other number. I think, of course I don't know, that it wont bother me much when I turn 30 but who knows. I think it wont because everyone I associate with is in mostly the same stage of life as me but older then me by 5 or more years. My neighbors and women in my ward are mostly 10 or so years older then me with either kids my age or a little bit older. I am the youngest of my sisters (I am not trying to make you feel old). Just everyone around me is older so I may be getting older but I am will always be the youngest of the old people :-)
So this got me thinking, I am gonna make a list of things I want to do before I turn 30, not really a bucket list just things I want to be able to say I have already done when I am 30. So I want to hear what things you all did/would put on your list. This post isn't going the way I was thinking and I am tired so I'm done.

Detox

Okay yesterday was the last day of my "experiment"/ detox/ diet/ veggie cleanse, whatever you want to call it. Here is a recap:
*I ate new things I have never tried before.
*I made salsa for the first time, it wasn't that good but then again I don't usually like homemade salsa because it has too much cilantro, and what do I do but put too much.
*I made homemade veggie soup for the first and second time and both times it was yummy! Later I added chicken, not bad either.
*I learned how to broil, never have done that before. Broiled peppers, pineapple, chicken, all were good.
*I lost 5 pounds
*I went 14 days without sugar, salt or any kind of fat, butter, oil, all of that.

All in all I think it was a good experience. I learned a lot and tried new things, the challenge now will just be to keep up with the four cups of veggies a day. But ins't putting what you learned into real life always the hardest part?