Sunday, March 13, 2011

I am almost there!

okay well actually I have a ways to go, but I feel like I am almost there because I have made a lot of progress and come along way. Where, you ask? Well I will tell you, almost back to where I was before I had Anthony. Having him really threw me a curve ball, not for the reasons I expected, which would be why I said curve ball. You see I had heard of people talk about postpartum depression but I never experienced any thing remotely close. Don't get me wrong right after I had my other kids things were crazy, my life was turned upside down, I ran on very little, very interrupted sleep, but I didn't FEEL different. This time , with Anthony, about 6 to 8 weeks after he was born I began to feel different, easily irritated, angry a lot, extremely sad. But the thing is they weren't my feelings, I mean I was feeling them but even in the moment, in the middle of the feeling I could easily think to my self why I am feeling this? I didn't want to feel it, I didn't have something that caused it, the feeling would just come and just as easily go. It really bothered me, to the point where I was close to talking to a doc about it, but I didn't, mostly because it wasn't soo bad I wanted to kill myself or anyone else, it wasn't bad enough that I thought I needed meds and I was sure my body good fix it on it's own with time, but I also didn't talk to a doc because it is hard to say..... "I have postpartum depression." Why am I telling you all this, well, I am not sure but I think it is so you can understand how awesome I feel when I say I am almost there, back to me :-) (I need to keep a journal because this would be a good thing to write in it.)

Any way if any of you are still reading the sucky feelings lasted for shorter and shorter periods and the good feelings in between got longer and longer. I think I am now there, feeling wise, and all that is left is to pick my life back up and put it back the way I want it. It has been about three months of these sucky feelings and right before that two months of okay feeling wise but having a new baby, so you can imagine what I my life might look like after being ignored for that long. I have some work to do but am able to look back I what I just went through and appreciate it. I definitely learned from it, and am happy to be on the other side.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Heard this fable.....

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one woun...ded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

What do you think?

Sunday, March 6, 2011

organization is the key to life.....

Okay, I have realized organization is the key, isn't that how the saying goes, organization is the key to life? Well I think it is right , or at least the key to a less stressful life. But here is the kicker it is hard to be organized/ get organized, it is work. But here is my thinking, usually with parenting a little kid the harder thing to do is the better/ easier thing to do in the long run right? I.E - making the child clean up after themselves, when they are little it seems easier to just pick up their jacket and shoes, or the few toys they left on the floor, but then you are teaching them it is okay, so later on down the road you made it harder for your self. Well I think it is the same with being organized in life. It may seem like more work now, or harder to do, but by doing it you can make your life easier and less stressful down the road. So that is what I am working on now. What do you all do to try and stay organized?