Feeling better!

Yay! We are slowly getting better! One little step at a time! I am so excited. I am still a little sick, just a little cough, but finally able to do things, Daniel is also feeling better, still with a littel cough, but better then yesterday!

Being sick sucks!

Can we just get over it already? If I knew it were nothing to worry about, I would just go on being sick and not mind, we are feeling better but still coughing. Will it go away. Even if we are not contagious no one wants to be by you when you are hacking up a lung. Plus I don't even really know if we are or not, if we are fine, but I would like to know. I just hope we stop coughing soon, Halloween is this weekend. Tomorrow I have a Scout Conference to go to, Daniel's school is having their dress up day, then Thursday is the Trunk or treat at my ward, Friday we have a family party for the kids, and Saturday we have two Halloween parties, one during the day for the kids and one at night for us, after taking my kids to trick or treat for a few houses. none of this stuff is stuff I can just do another weekend, buggy, like I said in my previous post I hate missing things. We need to get better, now!

Warning: very negitive post, do not read if you are in a good mood.

I am not a home body, or maybe I used to be, who knows. Here I sit sick, blah, my kids are starting to feel better, it seems, now I feel like I got hit by a truck. Tomorrow I am speaking in sacrament..... I have a meeting in the morning at 7:30. How can I run a primary when I can't run my house. I washed Daniel's bedding, well, Christopher did, Elena's is next, I started lysoling the toys and house, but didn't get far, I want to do things. I am not someone who can sit around and do nothing, I am a busy body, I am feeling so negitive, and I don't like it. I don't like dropping the ball, if I say I am going to do something and then don't, I not no one likes it, but it really bugs me. Also I like to go to everything I get invited to, it sounds stupid, but I always want to go, I feel like I will miss something if I don't go. But then when I do I let my kids and family down, I get over booked and have to let peple down and back out of stuff, and it bugs. Anyway, this post is a downer but that is how I feel right now, the good news is, tonight after I put my kids to bed, I am going to relax with a friend and get some good conversating in, maybe watch a girl movie, and basically do nothing, but not by myself, gotta love friends.

I'm offically, even though I am not offically, a Fallick.

Here is why, right now I am making dough dabs for the first time with home made beef stew, sadly to say, also for the first time. I haven't tasted either yet, they are still cooking, although the stew looks like the brooth should be thicker and there should be more of it, but we will see. I will let you all know how they turn out. And I do ahve a ton, so if you aren't scared of my sick kids, you should come over and have some. :-)

getting stuff done.

It is amazing how some day I try to get soo much done, and even if i do get stuff done, I don't feel like I have gotten much done, but then other days I don't plan to do much and I get a ton done and it is easy. The best are days when you plan to get sutff done and you do and it is easy. but today was a day I didn't plan to get much done, but I did. I cleaned up and organized my down-down stairs and it looks way better. Still have a little more to do, but wow, I have been putting this forever and it didn't take too long. So yay!

Stop and smell the roses....

or your little one as you put them to bed. I was hurrying to get the kids baths, pj's and into bed. Elena is sick and has been acting like, well, a bum, anyway I put her in bed and give her a hug and a kiss, she then reaches out her arm and pulls my head down to rest on her. I lay there and she strokes my head, while either talking or singing something. I say okay good night and lift my head, she pushes it back down, again with the stroking. I don't know if you have ever had a two year old stroke your head, but it was beyond description. I don't have the words to say how it made me feel. I love her and I am soooo grateful for this little moment we got to share, for this little reminder to slow down and enjoy the journey. I can't describe to you the love I felt for her and for my Heavenly Father, and FROM my Heavenly Father. I am blessed to have both my kids in my life and I love them. And this was one of those moments I will hold on to forever. :-)

mean what you say and say what you mean.

Both are hard for me when it comes to my kids. I often get angry and say things without thinking then right after I have said them I realize I didn't mean it. Not rude things, things like, Daniel if you don't _____ then you can't _______. Which is fine if he does what he is supposed to, but I shouldn't say it if I don't mean it. So sometimes I don't mean what I say and often times I don't say what I mean. Am I making sense to anyone but myself? No one knows. Anyway, I am working on pausing for a moment and thinking about what I want to say with Daniel. I can always follow through on what I say, because I know the importance of that, but it is saying what I want where I have a problem. So that is going to be something I am working on. Let's see how it goes.

Your actions effect others mmore then you know.

Today I don't have much time, but wanted to write about how our actions effect others. They really do more then we know, both for good and for bad. And if we pass on good feelings to others, they pass those on with whoever they come in contact with. So I guess the moral of the story is that I am trying to control my emotions. What I want to say isn't really coming out right, but anyway, right now I am trying to think before I act or talk about how what I am going to do or say will effect others. Mostly what I say, sometimes I say things without even thinking and don't even really mean them, they just come out and sound negative. So that is what I am working on now. That and getting my house in order, I like things clean and in order I think better when they are that way. And for the most part my house is, but when I go down-down stairs where my storage is, it gives me anxiety. So I am off to work on that area. Here I go.....

Responsibility

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, my own and others, and how we handle all the different responsibilities we have. It is wise to not take on more then you can handle, and helpful to those who are working with you because if you do take on more then you can handle, inevitably you wont be able to do it all, and those who work with you will have to pick up the slack. If you only take what you can handle, others will have to do the rest, but they will know what things need to be taken care of, instead of thinking you have it under control and finding out last minute it needs to be done. Also I think sometimes we take on more then we can thinking to prove something, but it hurts others when we do this, because ultimately we drop the ball. Some people look at others and say wow, look at all she can do and I can barely do.... (whatever). But I don't envy those who can do it all, well no one can, so I should say those who try to do it all. They are neglecting something, or someone, in their life. I know it is hard to balance life, I struggle with this all the time, but the biggest thing is not taking on too much to balance. A juggler who knows how to juggle 3 balls should not tell others he can do 5. If he does he might make it for a few minutes with five, but then the balls all come crashing down. The true character of a person is in what they do when all the "balls" in their life come crashing down. Do they turn to others for help picking them all back up slowly, do they grab them all up at once and start juggling five again, do they give up all together and walk away from all the balls, do they get depressed and do nothing until something or someone reaches out to them and puts one of the balls in their hands. Which type am I? Honestly, I am working on being the one who starts to pick them up again slowly with the help of others, however, I it is in my personality to want to do it all all the time, so I often am the person who picks them all back up and starts to throw again. Which type are you? Just think about it, you don't need to post it. This is getting long so those are my thoughts for today, unedited.

Start each day as if it were on purpose....

That is what I did today, I got my to-do list done the night before for the next day. Then I woke up early, for me 7:15, had a shower and was dressed and ready to go before my kids got up, at about 8 or so. It made such a difference in my day. I am slowly becoming a morning person. I want to be one. In fact when I am wake in the morning I love it, I am not grumpy, I feel good. But the problem is I can't fall asleep at night. I get in bed early, 9:30 or so, but lay awake for a while. I have tried different things. Currently I take melatonin, it helps me fall asleep, but seems like it makes it harder for me to wake up the next morning, though I am not sure yet if it is that or just the season. Any who, I am going to try something else my sister suggested, can't remember the name right now. I really wish I could fall asleep in 5 or 10 minutes like Christopher can. While I am still figuring out the going to sleep, I know the waking up early is good and I am going to try to keep it up for 30 days, that is how long it takes to make a habit. I am also working on a morning routine.

Starting to get it......

I am home with just Elena, Daniel is at school. And now I can see why when Daniel was even younger then Elena I was ready for another kid. I am able to get stuff done, yet still play with Elena, she plays by herself and no one is hitting or stealing toys. If it were like this all the time I would be ready to have another one. So now I see why people space their kids out, when the next one comes the older one is starting school and not home all the time. This way you can get more one on one time and get more done, without getting burned out. humm..... well, for now my only conclusion is I love the time I have with Elena and I am making sure to not spend it all doing stuff, but to play with her and spend time with her. As far as the next baby, I already know I am not even considering it again until march or next year. Also the other thing I am starting to get is that everything is relative. So it is easier for me to brush off the not so good things, and stay positive. still working on it.

The last phrase was a test.

For me anyway, I just crashed Christopher's car last night, I wasn't hurt and my kids were not in the car, thankfully. But I did see that while it was the buggiest thing and I was wishing it didn't happen, going to cost me both time and money, I still had the choice to let it get to me or not. Of Course I was upset and really mad at myself for a bit, but I realize that I am blessed it was just the car that got hurt, and also that I have the money to fit it. I love my husband, he helped me realize it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought. It is sucky, but it happened the only thing left to do now is work on getting it fixed. If i sat and wished it didn't happen and felt bad for myself or angry at myself, it wouldn't help at all and would only make things worse for myself. While my plans changed for the day and I wasn't able to go out like I had planned when I laid down to sleep last night I was able to because I had let it go. I guess I look at it this way, my plans for the rest of my day were changed, but that is way better then my plans for the rest of my life changing because I was hurt badly. Anyway, my neck does hurt so I think I will try and see the chiropractor, and hopefully the insurance will pay for it. That is that for today.